My Partner is Jealous and Violent, What Should I Do?

Can he change? What are the risks if I stay?

Managing the jealousy of your partner is one thing, as for violence, we are entering a subject that is much more than being a simple and delicate one. For cases of Jealousy that are sickly obsessive, I want to say “Yes, anyone can change, on one condition and that is awareness,” Claire Rogers tells us, with a facial expression that leaves us all very perplexed during this interview. “We can all heal from any neurosis or pathology,” she confides. But when jealousy becomes a pretext for violence, then we are looking at another kind of pathology and we must keep in mind that one woman dies every 2.7 days under the blows from her partner! 

So, what if we stay with the act of jealousy, which is, above all else, something that must heal. There must be a condition for the rest of your relationship. Suggest that he consult a psychologist to find out the origin of the lack of confidence he has in other people and in himself. Now, if this jealousy is accompanied by physical violence, we are facing  abuse. Any kind of domestic violence is prohibited by law, whether it affects a man or a woman, whether physical, psychological or sexual.

I know what is good for you, better than you do!
Control is one of the first springs of imbalance in a relationship, as is jealousy. Moreover, when the relationship is no longer based on desire and freedom, but on the need to control the other person, which creates a situation of emotional co-dependence, then a vicious circle sets in for both parties. Jealousy, when it becomes pathological, is a form of control, and finds its place in a toxic relationship and the jealous person takes on the role of the narcissistic pervert.

Jealousy is not proof of love!
Jealousy, as well as harassment, insults, threats or spreading false rumors, are all behaviors associated with psychological and verbal abuse.
Jealousy is a fatal feeling that has disastrous consequences on a couple's relationship. Domestic violence rarely happens without warning. As a general rule, the climate of violence gradually sets in within a relationship.

My friends who are reading this, I will probably scare you, but the figures are very real today. In the USA, one in 5 people are said to have experienced some kind of domestic abuse. And in France, a much smaller country, more than 230,000 women have suffered physical and/or sexual violence from their spouse. Every country has high statistics, especially since the pandemic.
It is very important not to go into a phase of anesthesia and denial where it will be very painful for you to get out of it.
If the situation persists, it is better to consult a specialist to find solutions for your domestic tensions. Yes, it is your relationship that is at stake, but it is above all, also your life.
One in two women comes to me for support for coaching, with stories that send shivers down your spine. In my many years of practice, I have observed that despite all the awareness campaigns, one woman dies under the blows of her partner every two and a half days. In view of the figures reported, for European women aged 16 to 44, violence in the home has become the leading cause of death, even before road accidents and cancer.
So, let's talk about it and be brave, let's run away and remember that nothing can justify violence, especially not love!

Don’t forget also that help is at hand in your country for Domestic Violence
Look up your local Domestic Violence help line number and don’t hesitate to call, even at the first signs of potential violence. Don’t put yourself at risk and become a statistic!  For example, in the USA the National Domestic Violence Hotline numbers are:

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

Advisors are also available to chat 24/7