"Where were you? And who were you with? What time will you be back? Who was that on the phone?"
"You are jealous!"
"Me?? I’m not jealous! "
It is difficult to recognize jealousy, as it can take hold in a relationship in a very insidious way. What's more, there are many forms of jealousy.
Jealousy is a narcissistic and egocentric "absolute" love that denotes a need to feel loved, but which in turn translates into a worry of being diappointed one day by the person who loves you. Jealousy can tear apart a relationship and can lead to a break up, slowly but surely erasing all that is good in you, leaving you with a sense of horror. Whatever the cause, jealousy is really terrible and very difficult to live with, and it is not necessary to accept it as part of the reality of a relationship, but rather as a difficult course to pass, to wherever it takes you. Both of you will need to work on the relationship so as not to have to suffer from the behavior of the other person...
What are the forms of jealousy that can arise in a couple?
From couple to couple, jealousy evolves in different ways and can take on different appearances. Here are a few:
This is certainly the most common form. The one that is romanticised in all fiction, about unrequited love, the story of "My darling, a jealous man is a good lover." Or, "My dear, if he's jealous he loves you!" In fact, your partner is jealous because he /she feels unfairly neglected. But that does not prevent the fact that at that moment, any jealous person will repress a feeling of anger and frustration that is often painful!
This kind of jealousy stems from a lack of balance between two people in a relationship. It could be an age gap, a difference in intellectual, social, financial situations or even physical appearance. Your partner is afraid that you will slip through his or her fingers. He thinks you will fall in love with someone who will bridge this dissimilarity between the two of you. For him or her, opposites do not attract, but like attracts like!
In this case, the partner plays Don Juan with other people. Thus, one or the other person will actually think that their partner does not take their relationship seriously and prefers to seek to experience their power of seduction elsewhere. This situation does not really lead to betrayal, but instils feelings of mistrust and doubts in the heart of the loved one.
This jealousy is pathological, one partner suffocates the other with unjustified pyrrhonism. They set up a whole fear-based scenario and begin to search for any evidence of betrayal. The jealous person questions their partner constantly, pursues them, searches through their things, smells their clothes, monitors their phone, his accounts on social networks ... A real paranoia!
Jealousy is a feeling that can get out of hand! When it generates too many conflicts in a relationship, you may be facing o a toxic relationship.
We invite you to ask yourself the right questions: is this a healthy relationship for me?