Love is not just a matter of heart, according to what we are looking at here. For several years now, scientists have been trying to understand the mysteries behind love. In fact, according to a recent discovery, the "you and me" is simply a chemical reaction, during which the brain simply starts producing different kinds of hormones. Here are the explanations that allow us to drop any romantic illusions we might have regarding love!
Love is a universal feeling. Yet many questions raised revolve around its origin, its place in modern society, its mechanism, and its duration.
This is a famous quote from Simone de Beauvoir that made us want to immerse ourselves in the mystery of love, the magic as she understood it, with this famous quote: “when someone falls in love with you, really falls in love, it's magic.”
According to different scientific studies, human beings are programmed to love for 3 years and no more. Studies that could quickly unpick the magic expressed by Simone de Beauvoir ... And yet it’s difficult to say the opposite today, when we know that we live in an egocentric and narcissistic society. Love can be scary. Trust in others can sometimes be a complicated experience.
This is how our scientists prove to us that by falling in love, we go through three phases. Each phase includes a group of hormones produced by the brain.
From meeting to desire
When you first met, you were so attracted by this person’s face, body, smell, voice, way of being, that your cheeks started to flush, you felt butterflies in your stomach and your hands became moist. It turns out that at this moment, your brain was producing the pheromones dopamine and norepinephrine.
Then the relationship begins, and your brain becomes inhibited by any judgment, you are under the spell of your partner and you desire them. Your brain then produces an excess of dopamine that gives you the impression of being euphoric, exhilarated, and energetic, your partner and friend of sexuality, famous ally of the libido.
Then comes the love attraction, or if you prefer, the alchemy of love.
This phase can last for a lifetime. One cannot help but think of the other person. Alchemy takes us into our wonderful love story, where we consciously or unconsciously spend hours fantasizing about each other. A phase where we fall in love several times in a life of the same person where love becomes a unique relationship of attachment.
In this phase, three hormones come into play:
Dopamine: which stimulates the pleasure of love and what you are missing
Adrenaline: it makes you sweat and increases the palpitations of your heart. It is the stress hormone.
Serotonin: it is the hormone of sleep, if it is not stable, it can make us crazy in love!
Attachment or separation
After three years of a relationship, the couple will take one of two directions. The famous frontier of three years! In fact, one person gets used to the other, routine sets in, so there is no more spark. At this point, two attachment hormones come into play to take the place of dopamine.
In women it is the turn of oxytocin which takes the place of dopamine, because the body is used to doses of pleasure. Oxytocin ensures well-being. It is released during an intimate moment between the two people.
In men, it is vasopressin that guarantees lasting commitment.
Oops ... Does this mean that this becomes a sex story?
At this stage of the relationship, you have to know how to preserve your relationship, as if these two hormones are not released anymore, it's the end of the whole story. The brain returns to normal activity. We look at our partner in an unpleasant way and a whole questioning ensues that can go as far as separation. The solution, instead of letting go of this hormonal turnaround, is to take the lead and discuss matters with your partner, to take stock of your relationship and to look at what is going on and what is wrong. Just like a beautiful garden, love talks. The garden of emotions, the garden of love, is the most complicated to maintain. Can we maintain the alchemy of love?