The loss of desire is not just a matter of hormones, nor is it just an anatomical and psychological context, it is an array and an accumulation of factors that should not be overlooked, in order to question the subject in a concrete manner.
If only I had dared...
It's over, I'm leaving:
Well, having made this superb resolution, I will now tackle this great question of "Why?"
We are not going to lie to each other, girls, this subject is a very vast one, and deserves a detailed analysis. However, we will still be able to try to identify the "Why" of experiencing a drop in your sex drive, in just a few words.
First of all, many reasons can explain the fluctuations and decreases in desire in women.
Disorders concerning desire and loss of libido are of physiological, physical and psychological origin and also hormonal. Unfortunately, we are not all in the same boat. We cannot neglect the period around the menopause, hormonal upheavals and phases of depression. And we cannot exclude the social contexts either.
Here is a non-exhaustive list of what causes a decrease in desire:
- Erection difficulties
- Following pregnancy
- Sexual abuse
Get advice from a sex therapist and take the time to think about this, because this is a subject that deserves a little time, and you deserve to take this time for yourself.
Like any difficulty concerning sexuality, perhaps it is necessary above all to take any drama out of the situation. Take your little notebook and list all the reasons why you don't feel this natural need to indulge in this simple pleasure that life has offered you and which can be life-saving... A way to relieve all sexual frustrations that are, in general, increased by problems to do with sex drive.
Unlike the mechanical and automatic desires of men, directly associated with the large amounts of testosterone made by the male body, a woman's sexual desire is not fundamentally biological. However, it is not uncommon that a deficiency in estrogen hormones can lead to a decrease in sexual desire, through dryness of the genital areas.
Are there multiple reasons? Definitely…
So the action; I identify, and I write them down:
Physiological origins (hormonal disorders, rare diseases, autoimmune issues, medication)
Physical origins (vaginal dryness, a retroverted uterus?)
Psychological origins (a withering relationship, boredom, depression, intellectual overwork, false beliefs, religious beliefs, various traumas and other brakes or blocks.)
Once all the reasons have been identified, you will finally be able to allow yourself to develop a concrete action plan to deal with each point, take your courage in both hands and learn to ask for help from any relevant competent person.
Yes! Asking for help is a great form of courage and above all, leave all forms of shame and guilt in the closet!
So, to finish, it is important to identify the "Whys", and set up an action program for each point involving solutions, but above all, the essential part may lie in the following questions:
What is it that I really want?
What are my real expectations and do they correspond to my core values?
All these questions may seem simple and so existential at the same time.
Am I ready to really let go and say yes?
