Is your relationship going through a difficult time?
According to a recent study by INSEE, 53% of couples are destined for break up .... Scary stuff! But calm down, who is it to say that you are one of these couples who can’t find a solution? Almost every couple sees problems arising after two or three years. Why does this happen?
Well, when meet each other, oxytocin (often called the hormone of love), is secreted by our bodies. It stimulates desire and also affects the behavior and emotions between two people. Whether or not they fulfill their roles, they cease to act after a certain period of time. From the biological viewpoint and if we are satisfied with a scientific explanation, we cannot do anything about this.
But our writer delves much deeper here!
Relationships and their story!
We hope, we suffer, we cry ... We can’t explain it.. Why do we fall in love? Is love a revolution? In answer to these questions, Francesco Alberoni responds with two words: Budding love, in Italian "Innamoramento." An extract from Francesco Alberoni’s book “The Shock of Love;” Time creates habits and many men and women complain of a certain apathy in their relationships.
Another tiring aspect which is even better known, is ROUTINE.
The ideal method to overcome routine in a relationship is firstly to identify the harmful habits. That's why partially, life as a couple is not always a long, peaceful journey.
Now we are going to address what a relationship actually means. In truth, its real construction begins after the passage above. In the case that you think that where you are at "is the fault of the other person," I need to tell you that we are off to a bad start!.
How to recognize certain signs that your relationship is in danger? To be honest, when there is a dispute, it is not two adults who are confronting each other, but the inner child of everyone who still believes they are at kindergarten.
During your childhood you had frustrations, that in turn had effects on the emotions which you had not yet experienced at that time. Because you did not have direction or the example given to you at home. Couples in difficulty pass on the behaviors of their parents, our love coach tells us. The sooner we become aware of the shortcomings of the parental model, the less we risk reproducing them. It is therefore useful to begin by addressing this inheritance.
Now, if you stay in this situation, there is a chance that your relationship will fade over the years. The first thing is to work out any detachment with love in your relationship. As your behavior will have changed, the reactions of your significant other will also be different too.
Ask yourself the right questions:
What needs to be done? How can you break this circle?
Lets look at the solutions:
After a time of reflection comes the time for discussion.
First and foremost, it is good to put communication at the center of the relationship. It is the tool on which to build your foundations. Here, there is neither a culprit nor an executioner, just behaviors which are inherent to each person. And you are not your behavior. This is very important.
Two cases are possible;
The case where both of you are in agreement and are aware that you need to act to save your relationship.
The case where one of the two does not want to put themselves into question.
Let's look at the first case. Communication is restored. Everyone reports on their needs, their values. Therefore, you can find a compromise in which everyone has the freedom for their personal evolution. And, you choose to touch base about this weekly.
The second case. It is impossible to achieve calm communication. The other person is in denial. You find yourself being the only party with the willingness to try to save your relationship. It is very commendable and generous. In this type of situation, I suggest you do the work for yourself.
When relationship problems put the couple at risk, it is better to consider getting help.
It may be interesting and give a new impetus to get the advice of a professional relationship advisor. There is always a solution!
"To better know yourself is the path to accepting yourself .”