This is an interesting subject that concerns most of us.
Why are we afraid of relationships?
Should we talk about fear of commitment as being the same as a fear of joint projects?
You are already in a relationship, single and searching for love or would like to get your ex back.
In all three cases, the same mechanisms are set in motion.
Fear can be very problematic, especially in the early stages of a new relationship when the two lovebirds begin to ask themselves questions about sharing the future together.
Whatever the situation: Did you lose your ex who was afraid to commit to you? Are you in the early stages of a relationship and feel that your significant other has developed a phobia of commitment? Don’t panic! Here are the tips of our Love specialist.
Facing your fears
Fear is often "the fear of having fear" and is closely linked to the fear of shared projects.
A state where the prospects of the future become scary.
Thus, a state where you look to the the past and project this into the future. You are fleeing the present because it is not comfortable for you.
We are also talking about the fear of conflict or the fear of suffering, indirectly linked to loneliness.
Where does the fear of commitment come from?
Most of the time, everything is connected with our past. Mechanisms such as the fear of failure and the fear of suffering or the fear of betrayal often seem to arise following a difficult break up.
Our emotional past, the situation of our parents when we were children, can reveal many secrets about our behavior.
How were our parents when we were kids?
What representation of relationships and commitment did they give us?
This perception is very important and could hold the key to your fears of commitment.
The first two loves of your life are your parents. Unconditional admiration for one or both. A father and a mother in conflict most of the time. And also, parents who love each other for years with the same intensity. One of the parents unconsciously made you lose confidence in yourself. The divorce of your parents. The list can be very long.
As explained above, let us not forget that a painful break-up, or simply the mourning regarding an old relationship, can increase the fear of commitment.
So, if your tumultuous emotional past has left its mark on you, you will have to reconcile with your past to properly savor a plausible present for you in your relationship.
In the case that you discover the source of your fear, you can get over this and commit yourself without reproducing the past events of your family and/or of your past relationships.
In another case, explains Melyne, from the site meandmyex.com, you will need to play the card of the past to recover the keys to a better future.
And then, there is your new partner who can also trigger the memories of which we have just spoken.
So, what to do?
Two choices are available to you:
In the first case, it may be necessary to talk. To share your feelings. Define your fears. Provide a space for mutual agreement. One important thing. Take a step back. Act like a free and responsible adult.
No matter what you choose. Do it please with the greatest respect for yourself and for your emotional future. I can assure you that you will grow and gain more confidence in yourself.
In the second case, agree to get help, if doubt creeps into the relationship and it becomes uncomfortable.
Calling on a professional can be essential to put an end to your suffering.
We have chosen Melyne for you, a relationship specialist with more than fifteen years of experience.
Melyne operates in the greatest discretion and will give you the keys for better experiences in your relationship and in your love life.
I wish you the most beautiful love story.