Can 2 people love each other without actually having met?
Here is an article in which our editor sheds a discreet, illuminating, sometimes even poetic light on the concept of virtual love.
Where has the discretion gone?
Why does everything push us to go in the opposite direction to our usual selves, to potentially expose ourselves to problems and to share all our deepest thoughts and feelings online with a complete stranger?
What if, when we first met, the art was to say nothing to each other, precisely in order to learn everything about each other? In short, these days, we are jumping over the barriers and our modesty goes out of the window with it.
Love remains our big concern. it exalts us, it tortures us, this paradox is at the very basis of our humanity.
Tirelessly cultivating and maintaining a virtual relationship leads us to the entrapments of the secret garden.
Temptation, hesitation, then renunciation, a three-step waltz that thousands of women regularly practice on the internet.
Of course, even though the exchanges on a screen and via the internet are virtual, the paradox remains about the reality of the feelings that you experience, which are very real! Are we talking about emotional addiction and sexual addiction?
Can we really have emotional conversations with someone without actually knowing them?
Relationships established by electronic communication are often very intense, we can often be much more open than we are with the people we meet every day.
And what if when we first met, the art was to say nothing to each other, precisely in order to learn everything about each other? The fact of not having anyone in front of us in reality and/or next to us in person, creates a false impression of intimacy, which often pushes us to go too far with the confidence we have, explains Martine.
Here is the story of Martine, 45 years old:
After a painful separation, rebuilding my life was complicated for me and I felt depressed. In fact, I didn’t enjoy the feeling of being on my own at all. I had real feelings of loneliness and I felt completely isolated. A friend advised me to go and change my ideas by using the Internet, especially using dating sites.
I was continually looking for new relationships or sexual contacts.
That was until the day when I understood that I was not on the right path, thanks to the famous American Psychologist, Melody BEATTIE, author of numerous psychology essays including the famous bestseller "Overcoming co-dependency". So, I started working with a coach, which changed my life.
For fear of emotional or sexual deprivation, I compulsively sought out and experienced one relationship after another, sometimes even pursuing more than one at a time.
I confused love with lack of love, physical and sexual attraction, pity, and the need to save or be saved.
I felt empty and incomplete when I was alone, yet terrified of intimacy and commitment.
Now let's talk about another phenomenon, that of moving from the virtual into reality.
Many relationships start on a dating site or on social media. So, why when the moment comes, when we want to transform these "virtual" relationships into "face to face" relationships, is it always a difficult experience and failures are frequent?
What is the feeling here? FEAR, again and again.
The virtual makes it possible to put across a character who is free from shyness, to embellish this personality, and it also postpones the agonizing moment of a real, physical meeting.
Often decisive and dreaded in advance, the actual physical meeting sometimes prolongs the fantasy and the feelings one has.
When a person falls in love this way, a series of expectations set in, which very easily leads to addiction (see our article in Womensdestiny on addiction to dating sites).
Even if intimacy exists, it is nevertheless virtual and opens all the doors to fantasy.
Basically, the rest of the virtual meeting depends on you, your state of mind and, of course, those registered on these sites.
Whether virtual or real in origin, if the two partners correspond and complement each other, the relationship ultimately has no reason to be less solid than any other ...
Very beautiful love stories can be born on the web. You just have to take your time and not rush.
The main thing is to know what you are looking for and especially what you are not looking for.
The important thing is to stay loving and find the ideal love!
Be careful, be vigilant ladies, dating on the Internet can turn into a nightmare.
In my opinion, relying solely on the web to find love can be disappointing...
