Yes, it's a bit distressing... The sexuality of "older people" is a crazy taboo in our society. All the time the “sexy” images we see in films and in advertising, tend to be of young, fit couples, so this taboo is very much a consequence of having a different physique, compared to the plastic standards of our time. Also, young people often have a concept that their grandparents are past it. Thinking about the older generation having sex is still unthinkable to many.
Of course, your body ages but your head can still think and fantasize! In reality, people in old peoples’ homes often revive their sex lives in ways that we, even they, never thought possible. Moreover, according to Patrick Papazian (hospital doctor and sexologist) "With each newcomer, it's like in high school: people jostle to see who can get him or her into bed first!”
Unavoidable bodily and hormonal changes
Ok, let's discuss the facts! The menopause leads to a drop in the production of certain sex hormones, which can lead to multiple changes, such as vaginal dryness and/or a drop in sex drive. Some men may also experience erectile issues. But this does not mean it has to be the end. The body is, of course, perhaps slower to react but no problem, there are only solutions: longer foreplay is one of them. According to some, a sex life for older people can be more fulfilling, by removing the emphasis related to pure physical performance.
The other problem is a mental blockage. Of, course the body changes as time progresses. If you continually look back at how you used to be, this will not help you in the present moment.
Start as you mean to go on
Wrinkles are beautiful lines where you can read the experiences of the past. However, if you are unhappy in your own self, you have the choice to do something about it. Remember, it is your choice and your body. The longer you go on feeling not great in yourself, without sorting out the issues you have, the harder things become. So, if this is you, you have to start somewhere! Honestly, everything is possible these days. Take small steps to exercise, eat well, lose or gain weight if you need to. Change your appearance if you feel the need to. In short, do what you need to, to feel better about yourself.
You may also need to do some thinking. Advertising for example, is designed to put images into our brains about certain lifestyles. If you feel isolated from these sexually speaking, you may need to challenge some of your thoughts. Remember, you can be who you want to be and do what you want to do! If it helps you, remember also that many teenagers have complexes about their bodies too, yet they are young, firm and often that stereotypical image of beauty incarnated. Yet, they don’t feel any better than someone in their 60s or even 70s. Proof that inhibitions are a mental challenge. And that can happen at any age.
Focus differently
Getting going again after a break in your sex life can feel daunting. But again, that is your head telling you things. You may argue it’s your body too, but honestly, this is often also a state of mind. Many people in their 60s, 70s, 80s and even 90s still enjoy a health sex life. Focusing on the sex act itself is not an obligation. You can enhance your pleasures with massage oils or even naughty lingerie. And these days there are the most amazing sex toys and everyone, of all ages, is buying them! The focus can be more on playfulness, relaxation, mutual enjoyment.
The other thing is that as we get older, we are less likely to want to have sex with different people and are much more inclined towards having a close intimacy with a special partner. Note that word “intimacy.” You and your partner can do as you please. So, what if it takes you time to warm up? So, what if one of you needs some lubrication? When you love someone, you can, even if its for a few moments, see the best in them. You can look at them in their eyes and love them in the moment, be that a long-term partner, or someone you just met. Then, you will find you can just go with the flow.
