We will not be condoning infidelity, nor will this be about encouraging it, although since 2020, it is very clear that the current of adultery has taken a 180-degree turn. It must be said that with the Gleeden.com site, the #1 site for dating between married people, the digital world has played a big role in extra-marital encounters. Between sites specializing in adultery and libertine dating sites, the offers are vast.
Even if fidelity refers to the notion of monogamy, adultery is a problem for some couples, a value to which the majority of people attach the greatest importance throughout their relationship.
Is faithfulness a fantasy?
According to a survey by the FIFG, 33% of women in a relationship admit adultery. While some hide it, others resist it, and others discover a second wind with it. Relationships have certainly changed a lot over the past few decades. Today, each couple can decide on the future of their relationship. There are those who decide from the start that their relationship will be open and there are those who engage in staying faithful, but who one day can fall off the rails. For couples who choose an open relationship, each partner has the right to have sex with other people, through mutual agreement. As a rule, we find a certain respect for others during extra-marital encounters, in order to preserve their relationship. Even if candaulism and swinging remain dangerous relationships ... For some couples!
And for other couples, adultery can be a one-off event or repeated but something that is always hidden. It is important to understand why the infidelity was committed. Lack of communication, gestures of affection, personal unhappiness or on the part of the partner, lack of feelings, reduction of sex drive, in search of new sensations or, quite simply, unsatisfied sexual needs.
Often the partner who takes action is looking for what is missing in their union.
Joelly, 45 years old: "Having a lover saved my relationship"
I'll make it short: I am married, I have three children, and I had a lover for 3 months. My marriage had entered a disconcerting routine, but I did not want to make my partner suffer, because despite this relationship I loved and I still love my husband more than anything. My lover brought me what my husband hadn't done for a long time: looking at me, complimenting me, valuing me, desiring me and so forth ... My husband thought something was up and he became aware of the situation of our marriage and without a word, he did whatever it took to save our marriage. Today we are reunited again, happy, fulfilled and I am faithful to him...
Megan, 47 years old: "I have had lovers for two years"
Fifteen years ago, I married a man much older than me, who is now 65 years old. When he hugs me, I have the feeling that nothing can harm me. He's a great father to our children. The other side of the coin is that for the past three years he has had no desire for sex, although sex is important to me. We do make love from time to time and I have the unpleasant impression that he forces himself to please me. There's no way I'm leaving him though, because I love him deeply. But to maintain the balance of our relationship, and to be in tune with my desires, I have had lovers for two years. They are always short stories. The most recent is a young man, a bit of a loser, but very handsome and an unusual lover. He makes me vibrate, that's all I ask of him. I don't get involved in his life.
Brianna, 37 years old: "Preserving the balance of my marriage"
I left everything to be with him, I was madly in love ... Ten years later, married, one child, I had a good life, but something in me had died out. My husband was more passionate about his job than our love life. We made love less and less often and I missed it. With growing frustration, I decided to take action, to fill the gap, and I met Vincent. We've been lovers for almost 2 years now. My husband doesn't know about it and our relationship is totally fulfilling and I love my husband just like I did on the first day.
We could give even more testimonies, but you can understand that these women saved their marriages by being unfaithful. These situations could also be experienced by men and the situations different still from the three that we have mentioned.
Infidelity is not a solution in itself.
These relationships can allow you to test things, to experience things that you might not have been able to approach with your partner. These extra-marital relationships strengthen the self-esteem of the partner who "cheats" on their usual partner. Indeed, from this point of view, infidelity is an excellent way to reassure yourself about your power of seduction and therefore indirectly to feel better within your relationship, more sure of yourself.
But infidelity can also weaken your relationship, because in most cases, this creates above all, a great deal of additional difficulties. There are limits to infidelity, the main limit is that by dint of "playing" at being unfaithful, you can end up becoming attached to the person who was supposed to be just an affair. The best advice would be to handle the infidelity out in the open. Without building a rickety edifice based on lies where infidelity or adultery can be seen as a stab in the back.
Whichever scheme you choose, choosing a double life can be dangerous for some couples, as in most cases it weakens relationships more than it strengthens them. Keep in mind that cheating on your partner can be quite a risky adventure and can have disastrous consequences in the long run.